My best friend recently described me in three words: adventurous, risk-taker and creative.
I would only add two more words to it and then you’ve got me in a nutshell: yoga and wine.
I’m a “like, totally” California girl from the wine country. It’s funny, I never actually knew I was a wine girl until I moved out of the wine country and realized the world didn’t revolve around wine like I so obliviously thought.
When I was a kid, all I did was dream and play a creative life. My career goals from the age of 4 included: painter, hairstylist, writer, actress, news anchor, musician, dancer, chef and movie director. My parents encouraged us to pursue anything we could dream up and that’s what I knew to be true. Until puberty hit and the world crumbled.
By that point, I was pretty unpopular by the masses (aka my school). I never quite fit in, I got kicked out of a few groups of girls who disliked me. Boys stopped liking me when I hit puberty (you think it would have been the exact opposite?!) and, I essentially spent my teen years and early 20s in a continuously downward spiral of battling self-confidence, self-worth and skepticism over if I would ever find love.
I’d like to tell you there was some big a-ha moment but, there wasn’t.
I did find yoga, though. And over the first couple of years while I was practicing often and then getting my yoga teaching certification, something slowly started shifting in me. I started to worry less about what others thought. I started building confidence around a few choice subjects that I loved and would never give up because of what someone else thought.
After graduating college, my list of career goals hadn’t shortened so I still didn’t know what I wanted to do. Luckily through connections, I started working for a company I believed in (The North Face) and started to build up a career in sales. This career eventually led me to moving to Seattle, and I met my (now) husband the first weekend I lived there.
Thank goodness, because I was sick and tired of being treated like dirt by one guy after the next. I was so sick of it.
Over the course of a few years in Seattle together, Jason (my now husband) and I taught each other a lot about life. He taught me how to let go a bit more, enjoy the moments and how to process life situations a little less dramatically. I would say I taught him about yoga and wine, how to be healthier and more balanced and also about leading a more conscientious life.
A few years later, we married on a beautiful sunny day in Lake Tahoe. Our marriage is by no means a fairy tale. We encourage each other to grow, don’t take each other’s bullshit and can spend every waking moment together without getting sick of each other. I love every minute of it.
At the age of 31, I decided my career in Sales was total bullshit. I so greatly desired a creative life and here I was in spreadsheets all day selling a $50 million order book, day in and day out with the pressures of a company never satisfied by the weather.
Sometimes I still can’t quite comprehend how my life shifted so dramatically. But here I was, 31 years old and I quit. With no plans, except a dream to pursue creativity. Oh, and a plan to move to Australia.
If you’ve read this far, you’ve come to the point where I share with you my top 5 tips on how to manage the first 30 years of your life.
Managing your First 30 Years on Earth
- Choose Your Thoughts Wisely: I’ll let you in on a huge secret that our modern-day culture is keeping from you. Life is a manifestation. Your thoughts become words, those words become actions, and those actions become your life. If you dream it and aren’t afraid to live INTO it, you will have every dream you can think up. But you must believe it. And you must be grateful for it before you even receive it AND be grateful when you have it. Dream big.
- What You Think Others Think about You is Actually Coming from YOU: That was a long one and slightly complicated! But the greatest gift you’ll ever learn. Your internal self-worth (whether good or bad) is actually what you witness in others. Example is your teacher Mrs. Holloway says to you, “This essay you wrote is good.” Your internal dialogue then says, “Jenny’s essay must have been great. Good isn’t good enough. Mrs. Holloway actually hated my writing.” Suddenly, Mrs. Holloway became the external source of your lack of self-worth. In the same sense, what if you are confident in your writing abilities? Your internal dialogue instead said, “I’m so glad she said my essay is good. That is the exact opposite of bad. Mrs. Holloway loves my writing.” And suddenly, Mrs. Holloway becomes an external source of your positive self-worth. Do you see how neither example holds any truth except as it relates to your own internal belief system? You can apply this to any interaction with any person or animal or object.
- Therefore, Don’t Let Others Define your Self-Worth: We are all walking around with opinions filtered through our own internal belief system. There will be people (animals and objects, as well) in this world who simply don’t like you, and there will also be many in this world who simply love you. We cannot define ourselves by looking to external sources for our own self-worth. We will never be satisfied with this game of
- Practice Yoga: Or just MOVE YOUR BODY in any way you see fit. In this modern-day it’s so easy to live a sedentary life. Ironically, being inactive leads to feeling fatigued and unmotivated to be active. Inactivity is where disease and plague thrive both in the body and mind.
- It’s All About Balance: Be easy on yourself. Eat healthy but eat the donut too. Aim to be active everyday but, aim for some sweet time on the sofa. Drink a glass of wine but follow it with a healthy glass of water. Enjoy feeling happy but, appreciate that you’ll be sad from time to time. And if you ever feel imbalanced? Figure out what’s wrong by seeking the advice of others (never be afraid to seek help) and then figure out how you can get balanced.